It hurts to know that all that time of struggling to quit weed or drinking or cigs for you was time wasted.. When I asked you to get smashed with me just one time you refused. When I asked you to do shisha with me you reminded me about how you're against smoking. I do respect your morals & values, however.. Whenever you get smashed with your crew or when you told me that you went to dreamland with your boys and smoked, you showed me that your values don't mean jackshit to you.
I know drinking isn't such a problem between the both of us now, but it's the smoking thing that bugs the fuck out of me. I remember I made an early promise to you that I'd quit smoking for a certain reason. You'd be so anal about smoking.. I do understand that we've both grown up a lot and I can see that some people's values change over time. I just can't understand that only a couple of weeks ago, you weren't down at all to do shisha with your girls but just a few weeks after you did the one thing you said you'd never do.
You said for some reason when you're with your girls you feel all motherly, but when you're with your crew you feel all rebellious and careless, that's why you do those things with them and not with us or even me.. Tell me this though, how do you feel when you're with me, your best friend? To be honest, I felt really trapped with the promises I made for you. I only did it cause of the things you told me & I didn't want to hurt you.
I just feel like everything I've done to make myself stop smoking was a complete waste. The fights we had and all the apologies I had to say.. It's not fair. I couldn't even do what I loved to do before, and I had to apologize for it? But you.. I swear you never apologized for doing shish with your fucking boys. It's stupid but I guess it's whatever, right?